765-foot-long water coaster on Disney cruises / SUN 4-25-21 / Racy selfie posted for likes on social media in modern lingo / Onetime MTV reality series filmed near Hollywood / Gaming novice slangily / Fictional pilot with the line You like me because I'm a scoundrel
and here's what you see when you complete the version in the app / online:
THEME: "Stretching Exercises" — muscles appear in squares that are "stretched" (i.e. the squares are actually two squares large ... though if you solve on-line (or using solving software, as I do) you are stuck with double-letters instead of stretched letters, which kind of ruins the whole premise:
Theme answers:
PECORINO CHEESE over PE CLASS
AQUADUCK over ELITE SQUAD
ABIDE and GLUTEN-FREE over ABSOFREAKINGLUTELY
BEST RAP PERFORMANCE over THIRST TRAP
LATE PAPERS over ROLL A TWO
BENICIO DEL TORO over MODEL TANK
Word of the Day: "THE HILLS" (9D: Onetime MTV reality series filmed near Hollywood) —
The Hills is an American reality television series that aired for six seasons on MTV from May 31, 2006, until July 13, 2010. Developed as a spin-off of Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County, the series aired six seasons and focused on the personal and professional lives of several young women and men residing in Los Angeles, California. Its premise was conceived by Adam DiVello, while Liz Gateley and Sean Travis served as executive producers. [...] The Hills received moderately favorable reviews from critics, and has been recognized as a "guilty pleasure" by several media outlets. However, the series was often criticized for tending towards a narrative format more commonly seen in scripted genres including soap operas, and appearing to fabricate much of its storyline. The show has produced several spin-offs, as well as distributed all seasons to DVD. Since its conclusion, the special The Hills: That Was Then, This Is Now starring Conrad was aired on August 2, 2016, and the sequel series The Hills: New Beginnings premiered on June 24, 2019.
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The biggest problem here is technical, i.e. the stretch conceit just didn't register for me. In the app, when you get the final solution correct, little elves do stretch the letters for you, it seems. And in print, the cells are pre-stretched? And then in my software version, I just had to imagine the stretching. So ... three different ways of delivering the sight gag? Sigh. The puzzle notes in my version (which I never ever ever read before I solve because they usually give away too much) basically explain to you that the paired circled squares are supposed to be single cells. Still, telling me this doesn't really change the fact that there's no way to make letters "stretch" when you're solving. You'd think that when you're taking in money hand over fist, when xword subscriptions are exploding, you'd figure out this technical stuff, but apparently not. Not yet. I guess they're trying to draw everyone onto the app with fancy after-effects (which are mostly dazzle camouflage meant to distract you from the actual Puzzle, as far as I can tell). Thursday's James Bond puzzle basically *showed* app users the fact that the "OO"s formed a "7" shape. So increasingly they're making puzzle effects app-exclusive. I don't like it. They're giving different kinds of users different experiences. It looks like solving the print edition was the way to go today, the "stretching" idea works best there. So let's assume we're all pre-Internet solvers: OK, this theme is at least interesting, and ambitious. The fill is very daring, both in ways that work and in ways that don't. But it's trying, at least. I see that ABSOFREAKINGLUTELY is trying hard to be class president, and it's definitely, uh, creative, but I just want to point out that in terms of google search results, the order of popularity goes:
1. ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY
2. ABSOFREAKINLUTELY (no "G")
[big dropoff]
3. ABSOFUCKINLUTELY (no "G")
4. ABSOFREAKINGLUTELY
Something about the "G" strikes my ears wrong. Like, if you're going to be that slangy, it's highly unlikely you're gonna voice the "G." Impressive that you pick up two muscles in this one very original answer, but when the slang doesn't quite land, it doesn't quite land. Further: you can tell me AQUADUCK is a thing, and I have to take your word for it, but the "on Disney cruises" part of the clue tells me this is not a thing humans should be expected to know. ROLL A TWO is a huge pile of garbage. I believe that MODEL TANKs exist ... but I don't believe they make good fill. MODEL TRAIN, hell yes. MODEL TANK? ... meh. PECORINO CHEESE is redundant (it's just pecorino) as is (kinda) P.E. CLASS (it's usually just P.E.) (see also TEAL GREEN, wtf). But the theme does have one big winner, and that is THIRST TRAP (77A: Racy selfie posted for likes on social media, in modern lingo). It's a loser in a technical sense, which is to say that "TRAP" is not hidden / buried inside the answer (the way every other muscle in the puzzle is buried / hidden). It's a stand-alone word. So, point deduction. *But* wow it is a great fresh modern answer and I can't really believe I lived to see it in a grid. And over VANITY, double wow. I will always remember this as the THIRST TRAP puzzle (to the extent that I remember it at all).
I had HEY, ALL before HI, Y'ALL, and I think I like mine better (55A: "Howdy, everybody!"). There's something both informal and businesslike about it. I don't believe "Me! Whee!" is a POEM (1A: Muhammed Ali's "Me! Whee," e.g.). You have to put the line-break slash in between the words (i.e. "Me! / Whee!"), as George Plimpton does here when referring to Ali's poem. Otherwise, you've just got two rhyming words. Also, Plimpton renders the first word as a question (i.e. "Me? / Whee!"), which does make more sense. With just exclamation marks, it sounds insane. COEDS is sexist, why is it still in your wordlists, people? I thought we'd settled this (87A: New students at Princeton or Yale in 1969). Will I remember that there is a Bollywood megastar named Aishwarya RAI? I will definitely try (didn't even see the clue this time). Will I remember "THE HILLS" was a thing? Likely not. I'm trying hard to forget it already. I really miss PHIL Hartman. OK, gotta get back to the dog we're dog-sitting this weekend. Barkley!
See you tomorrow,
Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld
P.S. I felt a little tired and a little head-achey the day after my second Moderna shot, but I was expecting much, much worse. My advice: hydrate (like crazy) and sleep!
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