THE REAL X FACTOR ~ JAMES LEON:
Let's not get into the debate about whether James has ever been cool or not (he was, he is), but focus on his seductive, 80s inspired electro synth album that is full of pop melodies, relationship drama and the fact that at heart, he just seems an old romantic. Nowhere is all of this more evident than on the track that kicks off the album, Bad Guy. Set to a disco beat and luscious soaring synths, James laments how he'll never be the bad guy, but is always the sad one. It's a universal theme that draws you in and actually makes you feel like you are part of a story being told. Glitterdust is James' big pop moment where he just wants to perform, to dance, to feel the music - the theme of such wanton abandon is continued in Bodies, where he examines how lust and love aren't always intertwined and it's the primal urge for passionate contact that drives people together (and apart). And I love how the theme of freedom, relationships and nights out continues throughout the whole album. It's not a concept album, but it's well thought out, tightly knitted and executed perfectly. Take The One Before Me - it's a darker synth track examining how the shadow of an ex-partner can blight a relationship, fuel it with uncertainty, trepidation and jealousy. It's why he needs the Club With No Name - still my favourite James Leon song; it's a soaring, gleeful affair with subtle persuasive dance grooves and enticing electro beats. James implores you to take him anywhere where he can just be for a while and you feel compelled to go along for the journey. It's what makes the album a winner - a love letter to pop set through the minefield that is modern day society. James' vocals draw you in and the catchy choruses make you stay. essential if you like Hurts, Bright Light, etc...
CHOOSING THE BOYS:
- Bloody hell, no messing about tonight. It's straight down to the choices. First up is Gary who sits down and talks to all the boys. He brings on Luke Lukerson Lucasville, Craig Biscuit Factory and Marcus Eton Road. He bins off Luke (rightly) because of his goddawful audition yesterday (none of this "you're going through because of your first audition" crap this year! YAY!). Craig gets through and celebrates with a biscuit. Probably. He talks to his parents holding the phone like he is on the apprentice. Marcus goes through despite having a "generic voice". I suppose the much anticipated Eton Road reunion will have to wait...
- Next up are James, Joe and Max "no relation to diana" Vickers. Only one of these will get through because there needs to be A FACE OFF between the final two contestants in this category. Gary tells James he doesn't want to take a gamble, ergo James will go through because I bet Gary's a right little Paddy Power addict. It's a no for Max, who instantly seems reviled by Gary's embrace and stomps off. Oh my. What a little hissy fit. It's all a bit awkward like watching a bad break up. (Needing the FACE OFF for the last two contestants means twitchy Joe is also a no, as Gary takes a gamble on James. Honestly, already I can tell that the stuff the judges say to the contestants will be illogical nonsense. BAH).
- So, it comes down to Frankie & John (who got a no from Dannii last year, and will be getting a no from gary this year as he is bound to pick Frankie). Frankie looks like his hair is in need of a deep root cleanse and an all over body scrub while he's at it. At least Gary tells Frankie he's not the best singer (finally! I thought it was just me who finds him tedious and mediocre, which is what I assume Gary meant) but puts him through anyway.
- So the boys are Craig, James, Marcus and Frankie aka Tabby. I guess I'm rooting for Craig and James, though will give Marcus a whirl (oo-er, etc).
- It's over to KnickersOff and Tulullah is dishing out the news. First up are the thrush cream (Estrelle) and Two Shoes. Give me Two Shoes (because one will make me look ridick). Neither group are allowed to sit before Queen Tulullah (who morphs into a Cheryl-Dannii hybrid more and more each episode, nay each scene!) even though one of Two Shoes is still allegedly up the swanny. Estrelle are gone, Two Shoes are through as Leone-Lewis-not-featuring-Avicci's Happy plays in the background.
- Lovettes, Nu-OneDirection, PreFIX, and Boy vs Girl are next to face the act. Two of these groups will get through so it seems like it's been mixed up from how the boys were told. This will leave a BOY BAND FACE OFF between The Risk and The Keys. Lovettes are gone but The Criminal With Nu-OneDirection are through. I still remain conflicted but am a bit pleased (although Tulullah did weirdly criticise them for being a boy band. You put them together, luv. Sheesh). If she puts through the absolutely dire preFIX through over lovely Boy Dates Girl I'll be furious. Yup. I'm furious but as predicted yesterday they need a mind numbingly bland girl group to be gone by week three.
- The Risk vs The Keys. Ooo it's like a mash up (edit: how true those words will become). She bins off The Risk which I am quite glad about, but then SHE ALSO DITCHES THE KEYS!! She wants to put 3 of The Risk together with Charlie Key (yum) who takes about 4 seconds to ditch his long time band mates and say yes. They all become part of The Risk (because legally they probably couldn't be The Keys).
- I am incensed. Three of the four final groups have been put together by the judges. There is absolutely no point in auditioning as a group, they should have a category for solo acts willing to audition to be part of a group. preFIX and Nu-OneDirection only sang at boot camp, while NewNewTheRisk haven't even sung together. What a bleeding mockery this is.
- So Nu-Vibe, Rhythmix, Two Shoes and The Risk are through. I guess it's just Two Shoes for me then.
- It's Kitty Wesal, Nice but Dim Sami and lovely John. It's another mockery if faded fascimile Gaga wannabe gets through but she will. She says that people either love or hate it. I suspect it's mainly the latter. "God what is he wearing" says Louis, rather bitchily as John struts across to get a yes. Sami is a goner, so Kitty Weasal is through and once again acts her socks off with some shoulder shaking sobs. I vomit in my mouth.
- Bald Guy, Fame Academy and Goldie are next. It's not really worth watching this bit as Goldie will be through leaving a Tezza-JohnJo FACE OFF. "Why have you taken so long to say it" screams Goldie at Louis who gets all up in her grill to give her the yes. HAVE YOU NEVER SEEN THE X-FACTOR?? It's the absolute cock tease of reality tv.
- Does anyone in the whole wide world apart from his family and 2 of the blokes he sups ale with think that Red Bull Terry is an international pop star with the x-factor and this much mooted versatility they harp on about? Anyone? "I can't be on that plane wondering where it all went wrong" says Terry. Give me a call dude, I'll help you out - the bad boot camp audition, forgetting your words, 30 years of hard booze and fags, etc. JohnJo looks like he might have a nervous breakdown, particularly when Louis says he can't have people who forget the words. LIKE TERRY. Oh thank the Lord, he bins off Tezza. Phew. "It's so hard" says Louis. Probably talking about his knob as he hugs JohnJo. (UPDATE: Goldie Gone, Sami Through).
- Sami, JohnJo, Jonny and Kitty are through. As JohnJo looks quite good in his makeover I'll add him to the supporting Sami and Jonny list.
- Miami. Vice. Wrap it up Kelly. She brings through Misha, Melanie and Amelia. "If I don't go through" they all say "it will be like ripping the baby from my teet". Or something equally as dramatic. Melanie says there will literally be nothing else for her at the age of 17 if she doesn't get through. I do feel this sends a very negative message about going for something then ditching it if you get a no to our nation's impressionable youth. Amelia and Kelly have a hoop-earring-off (Amelia wins). Misha is through and has NO REACTION WHATSOEVER. Like, she know she was through and would've cut Kelly had it been a no. Alexandra Burke's The Silence plays. I wish The Silence would fall so I can see Amelia Pond go through (some excellent Dr who referenceage there). Melanie goes back to nothing (which is also a bit Dr Who when you think about it).
- It's now Sarah, Sophie and Holly which means a JADE-JANET FACE OFF??? Surely that can't be right. No, it must be two yes at the end because I wouldn't put any of this motley crew through. I can't really distinguish who gets the no but I'm reliably informed that Sophie (the one who Kelly thinks doesn't really want it, makes sense then) goes through. Master of the single tear kelly can't even muster up a dabbing of the eyes as 2 16 years olds run off sobbing...
- IT'S A JANET-JADE FACEOFF. They are the two faves on paddy power ergo this is absolutely ridiculous madness. But wait! Scripted brilliantly, this will create tension and be talked about all week around the watercoolers until the big twist next week when the final 16 become the final 20 or something. Anyway, we need both in this competition. Nu_vickers is cute and Jade could easily be as big as Michelle McManus. In the end of the most drawn out FACE OFF known to the universe (seriously, i think Face/Off the movie was shorter, and that was a good 40 minutes too long) Janet is through, Jade goes home. INSANITY. I'm genuinely stunned.
- Just supporting Misha and Amelia for now, will see how the other two do in live shows...
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